Nothing breaks your heart more than your three-year old looking at you and saying "mommy, please stay home for just one day and play with me."
I know a lot of people out there don't agree with what i'm about to talk about, but I ask that you respect my opinion, and I will respect yours.
Being a mom is my number one priority, no questions asked. I would do anything for that little girl and I strive to be the best role model possible.
For the most part, I've always had a job. Since I was 17 anyway. "Not working" was never a real thing for me. Supporting baby girl on my own I knew being a stay at home mom was never an option. When I moved away from home to be with M, I had surprisingly landed my dream job. I was so eager for this new step in life and I was beyond excited. I loved the company I was going to be working for and honestly saw myself staying for quite some time. Little did I know what I was in for...
Typical day in the life of me?
-Alarm off at 3:35 AM
-Leave @ 4 AM
-Work from 4:30 AM - 2 or 3 PM
-Pick baby girl up from the sitter (one of my awesome sisters)
-Get home and take a nap
-Dinner @ 5 or 6 PM
-Baby girl in bath and bedtime @ 7
-Bed time for momma bear
If you add all that up, ya my life sucked a little bit when it came to time. I felt like I was never seeing my family. Sure I saw baby girl when I picked her up and we rode home and at dinner. But is that how families should work? I literally felt like the worst mother and fiancé ever. Should I even start on how cranky I was, ALL. THE. TIME? Poor M. He's a trooper to put up with me. I was miserable. It was a game of cat and mouse because I was doing what I LOVED, but was it worth jeopardizing family time for?
M looked at me one day and said "quit your job." I really thought he was kidding. We talked about it and he just told me "you're miserable, we can make things work without you working."
He understood. He understood I needed to be home with our daughter and make FAMILY work right now, not a career.
I honestly never thought I would find this in a man and let me tell you, I am SO beyond thankful for him. (I love you, baby.)
I was hesitant to give my work my notice. I had brought up my department from what seemed to be catastrophe and I was REALLY proud of that. I was nervous to leave it in the hands of someone else.
With many nerves on my end, I finally had a sit down with my manager to tell her I would be giving my notice. And I cried. Go figure, right? I was happy I was going to be doing what was best for my family, but so sad I would be leaving this place.
I finally had my last day and it was different than I excepted. I was EXCITED to be done when I first walked into that place. I was excited to not have to be up so early, or stress about work anymore. When I left however, everyone was so sweet and it genuinely made me sad.
Current emotions i'm feeling? Nervous. Scared. Excited. Uneasiness. Joy.
I am beyond thrilled to actually be a mom to my three-year old. I'm excited to make a life with M. I'm excited to start new business ventures with him. I'm excited to do all the things i've only ever dreamed about. However, I think being a stay at home mom takes a lot from someone. Whether you agree or not, I feel like it does. I am fully putting my trust in someone else to financially support our family, and that's hard for me. Being a stay at home mom isn't just sitting at home playing with your kids, it takes work. I know people will argue women have careers and still do both, and I think that's GREAT! Right now though? That's not for ME or OUR family. It will work best for everything and everyone if i'm at home.
Again, i'm so thankful for M and all he does for us. We both are really excited for this step and change in our lives. We are excited to see where this will take us!
Are you a stay at home mom?
What are your favorite activities to do with your kids?Labels: mom blogger, stay at home mom, work force, working moms