I don't know how many countless articles and blog posts I see with a reoccurring theme:
"10 Ways To Stay Happy In Your Marriage" or
"35 Best Ways To Love Your Husband Endlessly"
Although I don't think these articles are bad, I feel like some of the messages they send aren't the greatest. To me, when I see these, I see "marriage is, without fail, bad". I am not naive to think there aren't bad days in marriage. But with these articles, I feel a message is being sent that "no matter what, you will start falling out of love with your spouse" or "if you don't do certain steps, your marriage won't flourish". To me, that is silly.
My idea? Choose happy.
Every day of your life, choose happy.
I remember when M and I were moving and my mom asked "how many fights did you guys get in along the way?" I was so confused by this because my answer was none. Were we supposed to fight? We were supposed to have a hard time moving?
What do you always hear about the first year of marriage? It's the toughest, right?! Why? Because it's new? Or because that's the stigma put on the first year of marriage? Wouldn't it be cool to start hearing "The first year of marriage is the BEST! Enjoy it!". It's sad that instead we are constantly reminded how hard the first year is.
I almost feel as if the articles online implant ideas into women's heads. "If your marriage isn't at this point, it needs work." "If you don't do these things, you're not a good wife."
Every person is different, along with each marriage is different. I think going into something EXPECTING the worst, you won't get very far. I know no one goes into their marriage with that mindset, but what are these articles teaching us? Fighting is normal? Staying happy is only done a certain way? You need to be doing XY&Z to show your husband you love him?
Again, I understand each person is different. But try this; every day wake up happy. Say "I love you" everyday. Consciously make an effort to never let your marriage wither away. But most of all? Don't expect things to go to shit. Don't believe statistics. Don't tell yourself what happened to that marriage will happen to mine.
I do think some of the articles on the web regarding marriage are great. Date ideas are so fun to read. But ways to save your marriage? I think that just implants ideas in peoples heads that it is unavoidable. Failing marriages are unavoidable. I'm here to tell you they're not. Do what makes you happy. Nourish your marriage with all you have and put in the effort daily.
Oh and also? Kiss that amazing spouse of yours EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. ;)
Labels: choose happy, couple, engagement, expectations, fighting, first year, happiness, happy, husband, marriage, stigma, wedding, wife, wife life