When Your 5 Year Old Hates You

It's been such a fun week. Like the kind of week you just want to keep having over and over and over again! 
The kind of week where your dryer breaks, then your fridge, then your hot water heater…all in the matter of four days. AFTER you just bought your fridge off craigslist and paid an unhealthy amount of money for it. And your in-laws drive 4 hours each way to pick it up. And you stocked it full of groceries. 

And then tonight happens. 

We had just finished dinner and baby girl tried "salad" (which was ONE piece of lettuce with NOTHING on it because she dabbed it off with a napkin) therefore we let her have a push-up. YAY PARENTS! 
She was clearly having some kind of technical difficulties because it almost came out the bottom, then when we got that sorted out, she shot it through the top, causing it to go all over herself. This trigged an all out melt down. (Mind you, there was maybe TWO bites left of this stupid ice cream.)

I abruptly scooped it off of her and ran it to the trash can to throw it away. After BEGGING for another push-up and me telling her no, the full blown SCREAMING started. Enter daddy. He seems to be a great mediator for us women in the house. Bless his heart. 

After realizing we were not going to cave about getting another push-up, baby girl screamed those three words i've been dreading to hear. I. HATE. YOU. Followed by a lot of "YOU GUYS ARE SO MEAN!" 
But mainly….I. HATE. YOU. 

M and I were both silent. And then I cried. 

Do other parents remember the time their kid said those words? Am I a bad parent for having my FIVE year old say that to me?!? I feel like a total failure! 

Our child is spoiled. She is spoiled rotten but she also has boundaries which I thought were great. We aren't push overs but we truly give her the world. I think that's why this is so devastating to me. I've feared this day more than I could have imagined and now it's here. The words are said. Her and I have since talked about it, which I think helped, but i'm still shattered. I've wanted nothing but to provide the best and be the best. I clearly fell short of that tonight. We are good parents. We have a good life and a good home and we have a good family. How could she POSSIBLY hate us?! I know it's just something kids say, but man it hurts. It hurts so bad. 

I've always told M that I hope ONE DAY baby girl can appreciate all we've done for her. We have truly gone through hell and back for that girl. We've fought for her, we've fought for our family, we've fought for HER happiness and wellbeing. I know she's only five and i'm probably blowing this all out of proportion, but for some odd reason I want to remember this day. I want to remember this moment. That's why blogging and putting your life on the internet is so great. I can go back and read exactly how I was feeling, what I was thinking, what we were doing with our life….

Man... I. HATE. YOU. 
What STRONG words. 
I hope from this moment forward we can teach her better. And show her a better love. And just surround her with the kind of positivity and love she needs in the moments of a melt down. 

Parenting is hard work. Anyone who says it isn't, they are LYING. 
If you are a parent and reading this, please don't forget how bad ass you are. You've got this. Even on your roughest days, YOU'VE GOT THIS. Try your hardest. Life your best life. And love those little souls you brought into this world more than anything. It's tough. It's so so so tough. But at the end of the day, it is so so SO worth it. Even on the bad days. Even on the days like today. 

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